


Fangs, Claws, and Ill-Intent

by meladromatic



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb feels bad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meladromatic/pseuds/meladromatic
Summary: The dawning realization that Nott was nothing like other goblins made him want to turn tail and run. He could after all. In fact, he could slip out of that bed right then and run off into the night and none of them would be any the wiser. The group would take care of her. They would keep her safe- safer than Caleb could. She deserved that much.





	1. Bad and Better

                                                                      

 

 

     In the quiet of the night, Caleb lost himself.

     The fire in Alfield roared in his mind long after the flames had been snuffed out and the Mighty Nein had bunked down for the night.

     Hours after the fact he couldn’t seem to catch his breath lying there in the lumpy bed of the cheap tavern, staring at the wood slats of the ceiling.

     All was quiet, yet the flames raged on.

     He tried to swallow them down, let the exhaustion of the fight take its toll, but the sparks roiled within him, crawling back up his throat and into his head.

     Impulsively, he counted. An old habit to calm his nerves.

     He counted that the fight had ended 5 hours ago- that was 300 minutes. It had been exactly 12 days since they left the last town, that was 288 hours, 17,280 minutes.

     It had been 6 months since he and Nott had first escaped jail- he practically knew this one by heart- 26 weeks, 182 days, 4,380 hours, 262,800 minutes. Caleb had enjoyed every second of it so far- some far more than others. Nonetheless, he relished in her companionship.

     This little goblin was the closest thing he’d had to family in a very long time and that thought only seemed to feed the flames.

     That day had been hard for them. For all of them. He tried not to think about Nott’s brush with death. He hadn’t even been there- which somehow made it worse.

     The thought of her dying there, alone, in the street, it made him want to pull her closer. Hold her a little bit longer. Be a little more honest.

     He had been keeping her at arm’s length for a reason, though.

     He would hurt her eventually. He knew it. Nothing he loved went un-scorched for long. He had thought it would be safe letting a _goblin_ hang around- a nasty little thing full of fangs, claws, and ill intentions.

     But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

     The dawning realization that Nott was nothing like other goblins made him want to turn tail and run. He could after all. In fact, he could slip out of that bed right then and run off into the night and none of them would be any the wiser. The group would take care of her. They would keep her safe- safer than Caleb could. She deserved that much.

     He had really hoped not to get attached- a raucous little fiend would be easy to part with when it came down to it, but it seemed Nott had wormed her way into his cold, dead heart.

     Nott was gentle. Nott was kind. He only ever saw her teeth when she smiled and she was very careful of her claws. She curled up next to him when he slept and was always there in the morning. She never fought him on his decisions, she always complimented his intelligence and skill, and she- despite her relentlessly sticky fingers- never hesitated to offer her earnings to get him anything he needed.

     He had wanted a business partner. Someone who could help him escape that cell and his past.

     Caleb took a deep breath, grimacing at the ceiling.

     Part of him wished she were awake to babble him out of his own stagnant mind. She would always find a way to make him laugh or comfort him with her little stories and musings- it was a wonder that her grating voice never got on his nerves. Maybe Caleb just had a soft spot for Nott.

     Glancing over to the little lump who had curled up next to him, Caleb grew concerned about having such a big soft spot, but he smiled and corrected himself with Nott’s own words- _not soft, just ‘squishy’_.

     His eyes traced her in the dim light, holding his breath to watch intently for any movement.

     Caleb could see her shoulders rising and falling with each quick breath she took- it concerned him sometimes, but he had grown to understand that’s just how smaller creatures breathed. Though he would admit tonight it was a bit quicker than usual. It made sense. She must have been exhausted after such a fight and a brush with death.

     The inferno crested in his mind and he suddenly wanted to reach out to her- to touch her, to hold her, to tell her how much that little stunt had worried him, make sure she knew he cared, that she was loved.

     A grimy hand moved before he could stop it, going to rest on her head. Nott’s hair was matted and sweaty, but her little ear twitched like a cats, filling Caleb with fondness.

     She chirruped a bit in her sleep, reaching up towards his hand. He expected her to scratch him or shove him away, but her eight little digits came up to wrap around his thumb and pinky finger.

     Of course she would surprise him again like that. He almost had to choke back some tears.

     Caleb shook his head in wonder. How could people throw rocks at this girl? How could anyone hate her? She deserved so much _better_. Better than _this_. _Better than him_.

     “Caleb?”

     He was startled out of his thoughts, quickly finding those two large yellow eyes, shining in the darkness.

     “Oh, I’m sorry, Nott, uh…did I wake you?” Caleb would have pulled away, but her hands still held to his fingers reassuringly. She seemed to ignore the question.

     “You’re thinkin’ yourself in circles again.” She was always so clever. Of course she would know. He didn’t even need to confirm her suspicions.

     She took a good look at him- she could do that quite well with her darkvision- and resolved to do _something_ to make him feel better.

     She gingerly pulled his hand away, laying it down on the bed with a quick pat, and with some effort, pushed herself closer to his side, resting her head against his chest.

     His arms came around to hold Nott closer, almost cradling her like a child. It was easy to believe she was one- she was just so _small_ and no matter how goblins matured she was only- _8 years, 96 months, 418 weeks, 2,920 days, 70,080 hours-_ …

     That was not enough time to live and die. Caleb had lived nearly five times the amount of life she had so if anyone should be allowed a brush with death it was him. A dark part of him- or perhaps a brave part- wished he could have taken every arrow for her.

     “Hey.” She reached out to poke his face with a claw. It wasn’t nearly as sharp as it looked.

     Caleb’s eyes focused back on hers and he found a great deal of comfort in their glow.

     “Think of all the paper you can get with the Gnoll ears we cut off! Probably a lot. More than enough for your spells, I reckon.” She said, drumming her fingers against his sternum. He could only hum in appreciation.

     “And we’re gonna get you lots of books.” She reached out to poke Caleb’s cheek and suddenly another overwhelming wave of fondness rushed over him.

     He smiled that special smile- the _real_ one that only Nott and Frumpkin and books got to see. His eyes were somber, though.

     “You know-“ He started, but seemed to bite his words back, choosing them very carefully, “You, uh- you…scared me tonight.” He waited a long time before he spoke again, “That arrow…” He sighed wearily, “I could have lost you.”

     Nott finally looked away- finally felt some sort of guilt. She knew she had been reckless. She knew she had risked something that could not be replaced. _Foolish_. It was foolish _how could she protect him if she was dead?-_

     “…I’m sorry to have worried you.” She said sagely, “I don’t want you to worry about me. I’ll be more careful next time.”

     Caleb shook his head at her stilted consolation. “I trust you to take care of yourself. Especially when I am not there.” He frowned at the fresh bandages that wrapped her neck and chest as well as her poor little burned feet. “Jester only has so much magic to spare.”

     Nott frowned, picking absentmindedly at her bandages. “Yeah, I know.”

     She heaved a great sigh, cuddling down into her wizard’s coat. The smell of ashes that clung to him was familiar and welcoming.

     For the first time in a long while, Nott felt loved and Caleb felt better.


	2. New Day

     The next morning found the two seemingly more exhausted than when they had retired for the night.

     As dawn broke, and the town of Alfield began to knit itself back together as best they knew how after such a terrible tragedy, human eyes blearily studied the ceiling just as they had the night before.

     As Caleb Widogast slowly returned to the land of the living, he silently panicked. A concerning weight had settled itself on his chest- something much heavier than Frumpkin.

     As his mind came around he became more and more aware that this weight was very real and physical- nothing manifested by an ill mind or some hidden wound from the night before.

     It seemed as though roughly 45 pounds had settled on top of him.

     Understanding suddenly dawned on him and he managed to look down at the little goblin that had climbed onto him sometime in the night. Eight little fingers were wrapped tightly into the front of his shirt. Nott’s ears twitched.

     Caleb smiled at the girl, hoping she was warm enough in the chilly morning air that came through the window.

     The bandages wrapped around her chest and neck were still in place, though there was a large, seeping spot of dark, brackish blood that had leaked through and partially stained Caleb’s shirt. His heart ached for her.

     He would have to do better. For her. For the both of them. Maybe even for the rest of the group as well.

     Caleb raised a hand to settle on her bony shoulder, hoping the fire in his veins was enough to warm her. The poor girl was so cold, she shivered, and with a kick, clambered closer until her head was tucked comfortably under his chin, arms stretching out over his shoulders.

     Caleb felt the fire climb into his face before he vaguely remembered goblins were known to occasionally sleep in piles. She must have needed the closeness so he obliged, grateful that she found some kind of comfort in him.

     Nott the Brave was probably the only being in all the realms that took comfort in Caleb Widogast and that was not lost on him. He didn’t think he would ever get used to how much faith and trust she placed in him. He certainly didn’t feel he deserved it.

     Yesterday was bad, but today would be better.

     And today could start being better once Caleb was no longer suffocating.

     “ _Nott?_ ”

     She didn’t even stir, still snoring away happily. It was such a sweet sight, Caleb felt treasonous to even think of disturbing her, but 45 pounds felt a lot heavier when it was compressing his lungs.

     “ _Nott. You are crushing me._ ”

     Finally, one of her large yellow eyes cracked open to peer groggily at him, “Hm…wuh?” Awareness hit her like an eldritch blast and she shot up, quickly scooting away, “Oh, _sorry_! Sorry!”

     “It’s okay.” Caleb said matter-of-factly, sitting up to lean against the headboard, “Uh…good morning?”

     “Yes! Yes, how, uh…how are you?”

     Caleb looked at Nott strangely, “How am _I_? How are _you_? You are- you are still…bleeding…a bit.”

     She looked down at herself, all bandages, scrapes, and bruises. She had indeed bled through the wrappings quite a bit.

     “Oh.” She murmured, crossing her arms over her chest, “It’s fine. I’m fine” She shrugged, “I’ll live.”

     “I should hope so.” Caleb suddenly leaned close, voice hushed as if sharing some scandalous secret, “ _You are very dear to me._ ”

     Nott was sure she turned a shade greener- barely finding it in herself to suppress a toothy grin. Caleb didn’t seem phased, though. He never was.

     “And _you_ are very dear to _me_.” Nott said. And she meant it. For all her lies and trickery, she was one of the most sincere people the wizard knew.

     A sweet and selfless goblin. Caleb was sure his Nott was one of a kind.

     “We should go see if the others are up.” She chirped, hopping off the bed and trotting over to the door.

     “Uh, yes.” Caleb conceded, sliding over to wrestle with the laces of his boots, “Maybe Jester can…heal you a little bit more?”

     He heard Nott snort indignantly, “Oh, don’t be silly! Jester needs her energy. It’s just a scratch.”

     Caleb threw her a troubled look over his shoulder, but she returned the stare with conviction.

     “If you say so.” He sighed, “Just…remember our talk last night. Please take care of yourself.”

     She wilted, eyes falling to the wooden floorboards, but she nodded. That was a success in Caleb’s book.

     “Now let us see if Beauregard has any more pocket bacon, shall we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a struggle. Chapter two did not come easy and I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but it functions, y'know? Anyway this was just kind of a little wrap up. A bit of insight for this chapter: Nott knew for a fact Caleb was getting kinda squirrelly after everything that went down and didn't really think their talk was reassuring so she waited until he fell asleep and kinda just curled up on him like a cat so he couldn't just up and leave in the middle of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> This turned into a bit of a Caleb character study, I think. He's always getting ready to bolt when he feels overwhelmed. Well, chapter two should be less brooding.


End file.
